"The only two companies that didn't lose money were McDonald's and White Castle...and of course the mob"

So a crazy crazy day yesterday. I had to fly from Madison over to Cincinnati, with what was supposed to be a 30 min layover in Detroit (just enough time to walk from gate to gate without being too rushed) Or at least that was the plan.

Since April 27, 2007, Delta Airlines stock dropped from 21 dollars a share down to 6.75 dollars today. I'm sure the economy is somewhat to blame for that, but between the flights and the mad dash around Detroit due to late flights, I think there are other reasons than that. As I recount the last 24 hours, I'm going to intermix this with ways I think Delta can start to win customers back, or at the very least, stop driving people away in droves.

Monday, Aug 17. 4:00 PM
I thought I was doing every thing right. I had left work a little early so Jenn could take to me the airport. I purchased Flight Tracker for my iPhone, a 5 dollar app that is highly rated at accurately tracking flights and gate information. I had my backpack with my laptop, Kindle 2, and various computer cables. My rolling carry on bag was stuffed with all of the clothes and toiletries I would need over the next 4 days. I was a traveling bad ass. I bounded up to the TSA Security checkpoint, had my ID and boarding pass (which I printed from the Internet hours before) and breezed through security. Since I had never used the Flight Tracker app, I wanted to double check the gate on the airport screen for consistency. That's when I saw it: Flight Delayed to Detroit. New Departure time 6:45 PM

Well shit. That's a 38 minute delay of departure (and for those of you who have been reading from the beginning, you know my travel department only put in a 30 min layover. The math already looked ominous) I didn't see any one else on the trip there yet, so I decided to wait. 15 minutes later, the rest of my party shows up and we decide that since we're still scheduled to land prior to the next flight (and there were like 20 of us needing to hit that flight) we'd stick around and check it out. Worst case, we spend the night in Detroit, no biggie.

Monday, Aug 17 6:30 PM
The Northwest/Delta flight starts to board. This is where the comedy of errors for the night begins. I show my boarding pass, walk down the breezeway, step foot onto the plane, and was greeted by an eldery flight attendant in a blood red uniform.

"Sir, you'll have to check that bag." I ignored her, thinking she was talking to someone behind me. Surely my bag wouldn't need to be checked, it is only slightly bigger than my backpack.

"Excuse me, sir, you'll have to check that bag!" A little more insistent this time, and I'm pretty sure she's talking to me now.

"I'm sorry, but I have to check this bag? It surely isn't too big for the overhead on this Airbus"

"Well we've run out of room on all the overheads, so you'll have to check. Give me your boarding pass and we'll check it here."

"Ok, but I'm trying to hit a connecting flight in Detroit. If I check it here, do I have to wait and pick it up at the gate in Detroit and miss the connecting flight, or will it go with the rest of the checked luggage and I'll pick it up in Cincinnati?"

"It will be in Cincinnati if that's your final destination"

"Well, I hope to continue going to more places after Cincinnati, but yes, I'll be stopping there for the night" My lame attempt at humor, Mrs. Blood is not amused.

This brings me to my first problem with airlines. Rule 1 for happy people. Don't proclaim everyone can bring one (1) bag ad one (1) carry-on and then not have any room for all passengers to fit this into the cabin!

But Jim you say, it isn't reasonable or feasible to do this! You may even be right, there may not be space for every single person to have a carry on and a bag. If that's the case, YOU SHOULDN'T ADVERTISE THAT YOU CAN! Instead, realistically measure how many bags you CAN fit and assign the bins as first come/ first serve when you check into your flight. You can indicate on the ticket if get a lucky overhead bin. If not, check it at the gate, and you won't have to worry about the rest of the trip (and would make TSA security checks easier)

They take my bag, give me a small claim tag, and I go take my seat, secretly pleased at this point that I won't have to drag a damn bag all through the airport.
Monday, Aug 17 6:45 PM
At this point, we're still sitting on the runway, saying we're being delayed due to problems in Detroit. Good news though, if they are delaying people coming in, they're probably delayed coming out too, or so the pilot thinks. We're going to get there as fast and safe as possible.

Monday, Aug 17 6:58 PM
Finally wheels up and heading to Detroit. The captain is still convinced we'll be fine, especially since a large number of us are trying to hit the flight.

Monday, Aug 17, 9:05 PM (EST from now on)
The plane pulls up to the gate and we're told they will be holding the plane at the other gate until we get there. Now I assume that the Delta Agents aren't completely new at their jobs or incompetent. I also assume that they have at least a vague idea of how long it take to travel from one gate to another. I confidently stroll off the plane, not concerning myself with my checked bag as I was assured it will be in Cincinnati. A group of us fast walk (the kind that shows we're in a hurry, but we're also not terrorists) and get to the gate around 9:20 PM.

Monday, Aug 17,9:20 PM
We arrive at the next gate, to be told that they had already closed the hatch to the plane, but because we're all special, they'll open it back up just this once, but SOMEONE WILL BE LEFT BEHIND! You see, we oversold the plane and now we're giving these seats on a first come, first serve basis. Luckly, I'm in the middle of the pack so no worries for me, but it brings me to rule #2. Don't oversell the seats on the damn plane! I'm assuming you won't make people sit on other people's laps, so I don't see how you can oversell a plane. It's not like you didn't know a large group of people were going to show up at the last minute, each of us with a ticket that has a damn seat number on it. Surely you didn't think that 20 people decided not to show up. Shit happens and you can't just give away a seat because you think they might not show. This kind of business practice is simply irresponsible.

Monday, Aug 17, 11:30 PM
I finally land in Cincinnati, OH. I actually feel pretty good about flying Delta, since they did allow most of us to get on the plane. All in all, handled pretty good. I wait for my bag with the rest of the gate checked luggage, only to discover my bag isn't there. "That's odd" I thought, but maybe it was actually checked with the rest of the luggage and it will be in baggage claim. After walking all the way over there, we talk to one of the agents saying that all the baggage on the plane has come off, and they probably took ours to the side office. Hesitant, but still in good spirits, I approach the baggage claim office.

"Excuse me, I was out in the baggage claim area and they said you might have already taken my bag off the belt."

"No, we didn't"

"Ok... well I don't have it. Can you tell me where it might be?"

"Where did you check it?"

"Well, they made me check it at the gate in Madison, but they told me it would be here in Cincinnati"

"Well, it sounds like you should have gotten it in Detroit."

"Well, I asked them that, and they assured me, in fact, they were very adamant about it, that my bags would be waiting here in Cincinnati"

She gives me a blank stare that I return.

"So where is my bag?"

"Well, they didn't scan it in"

"So, you don't know where it might be?

"No, but I can have you fill this out and we'll let you know when it shows up."

"Ok, whatever"

I have to make these rules shorter since I need to go to bed, but let's just say this wasn't "Friendly Customer Service"

Some quick hits:
1) I know she wasn't the cause of my lost bag. She could at least act like she gave a shit. That's her job, to make sure my information is accurately taken and to provide me with a little confidence that while they may not know exactly where my bag is at this moment, rest assured they will find it quickly and return it promptly. She failed on both those accounts.

2) How do you not know where a piece of luggage is in this day and age? Drug Dealers have been using UPS and FedEx to track their drug shipments for years. How can the airline not have a similar system in place? I wasn't mad/worried that my bag didn't make it, I was pretty sure it wasn't going to. What worried me is that they have no idea where it might be, and it sounded like I would be out not only the cost of luggage, but the cost of all my nice clothes that I had packed, since I assumed I would be able to keep the bag with me at all times.

Tuesday, Aug 18, 12:05 AM
So we get the baggage thing taken care of (two other people in my party also were missing luggage) and we head for Avis for our rental car. The shuttle driver takes my friend's information and we're off. About half way there she looks back and only sees the three of us.

"Are there any more in your party? Are you with a larger group?"

"No, just the three of us."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive... Why are you asking?"

"Well, they have you done for a 12 passenger van."

"They WHAT?!"

Flashbacks of Scott Deterding's bachelor party are appearing in my mind.

We head into the Avis office where the guy tells us that all he has left are some compact cars, a few chevy camaro and a Yukon He told us he couldn't let us have the camaro because it was a foreign car and he would get fined if he rented that to us. (I was too tired to point out that the camaro is actually owned by Chevy, an American company that I'm pretty sure with the recent government bailouts that I actually own part of it. But I digress) We said the Yukon would be fine and headed on our way. Still no word on my luggage

Tuesday, Aug 18, 8:00 AM
I'm heading to a customer site in yesterday's clothes (A Cardinals T-shirt and shorts). Delta still had no idea where my bag was according to the website and I think all is lost. I email my Travel department to figure out what options I have if I have to buy more clothes. He calls Delta and what do you know! They found my bag was being routed to Cincinnati by a Northwest flight, which is why it wasn't in the system. At 6:00 PM, I come back to the hotel to find my bag waiting for me, and for what seems like an added bonus, I even got to keep all my clothes.

Moral of the story: Never assume you're going to keep your carry on bag with you. And with that, goodnight!